deflated

      The first few days of this week, in a word, has been OVERWHELMING!  I have never felt that I could not do something, I know I need God to be able to make it through this year.  We are at orientation this week at Stoney Point, NY.  My perception of orientation was it was going to be a little training, some encouraging words and music, and then off we go ready to learn, serve, and be.  No so.  So far almost everyone has just spoken about how hard their year was as a YAV.  How nothing worked out, they talk about how lonely, depressed, and difficult the year was.  This shocked me!  What have we signed up for???
     I came back to my room tonight deflated and anxious.  I wanted to check my first YAV email before I went to bed to see if our email was sent, who David and I missed, and whose emails we mistyped. I was humbled and touched by what I found.  Family and friends had already sent us many emails, supporting us, surrounding us.  Thank you for making me remember I have all of you!  That you will support and love us even if this year is a disaster for us.
      Psalm 139 says "...even if I settle at the other side of the sea- even there Your hand will guide me."  I AM settling at the other side of the sea.  Like Ruth, I am leaving what is dear to me and that has been harder than I can sometimes bear.  BUT I have the promise that God will be there regardless of my experience.  Was this the right decision?  I don't know.  All I know is it is a leap of faith, something I have never really had to do before... and I am afraid.