Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday Blog

Today is the first day of Lent, and since I have not written a blog for a while, its seems a good time to restart. The last few years Amy and I have given up something we wanted to know we could live without (meat, ice cream, cheese, etc.) This year we chose something harder. This year we are giving up living in America.
Some may laugh since we are already giving that up, but this is very serious for us. The last few months have been an intense roller coaster of ups and downs; solace and despair; love and hate; welcomed and bullied.
We are getting used to some things, but every day usually involves a happy high, and a depressed low. Rarely a day passes when neither of think about going home home, back to mommy's arms, and daddy's protection. Rarely a day goes by that does not trigger some recent psychological or emotional scarring.
What keeps us going are the things to look forward to. Aunt Lee Ann's trip in February gave us a chance to rest, relax, reflect, and leave East Africa (without actually leaving East Africa). Next week, during a short term break, we are planning on venturing to Jinja, Uganda and the source of the Nile for some adrenaline-pumping white-water rafting. April (beginning with Easter) will bring a long break between terms, which should include Nairobi (where it is easier for a mzungu to go unnoticed), a YAV retreat (possible to the island of Zanzibar), and other East African adventures. May will bring Mom and Dad Wigger, and June brings the Benish/Wadsworth clan. March (and very appropriately Lent) leaves us with our last, long, challenging period. Our last stretch with little or nothing to look forward to. (We may try to do something/go somewhere for Amy's B-day, March 23, but it won't be far or long.
So for Lent this year, we are giving up living in America, living in familiarity; we are giving up fitting in, being in control, and not being different. This Lent we will push through, hopefully, our toughest month left, and come out stronger on the other side.
During Lent, I always desire to eat meat, crave a piece of chocolate, or sneak a little ice cream when Amy isn't looking. This Lent I will want to go home, will crave a hug from family, and will sneak back to Western society through movies, books, and maybe a night in Kisumu.
But I always come out of Lent stronger. I always leave a better person. I always am proud I made it. And I always come out more faithful. This Lent I am giving up living in America, and hopefully it will help me live in the promise land (or at least catch some glimpses of it.)

Guide my feet...
    while I run this race.
Guide my feet...
    while I run this race.
Guide my feet...
    while I run this race.
For I don't want to run this race in vain.
                       race in vain.

Oh bliss!

Today, for the first time since I left for Tanzania (late September), I took a hot shower.  Oh bliss!  I was convinced that hot showers were overrated and something I didn't really miss.  I was wrong.  I realized (in my nice hot shower today) that taking a cold shower was kind of like doing the hokey pokey- stick your hand in quickly pull your hand out, realize you still have soap on it so put your hand back in and shake it all about.

Teaching in Ratta and address

       Teaching in rural Kenya is VERY different from teaching in the states.  The classrooms are small with no lights and instead of a smart board and whiteboard, there is a white wall that was painted black for a chalkboard.  There are about 40-50 students crammed into the classroom that would hold about 10 at the most in DC.  The students caned and the teacher don't always show up to class. 

   This, however is why I am still in Kenya.  I love teaching these students.  They are attentive and very eager to learn.  I have no classroom management problems- NONE!  As a teacher who is used to being part entertainer, part parent, and part teacher, I cannot believe how much I can teach with students who do not act out!  My only problem has been getting them to talk!  They are so used to just quietly studying or just copying what is on the board, it feels like pulling teeth to get them to answer questions or discuss.  They tell David and I they want MORE homework and MORE quizzes.  They love any creativity and laugh easily.  In many ways, teaching in Ratta is a teacher's dream!

Many of these student will have to drop out because of money problems before they graduate.  Graduation here also does not mean college.  There is a board of the top student every year for the last 22 years.  Out of those 22 years, only 10 students managed to start college. Poverty is a huge issue in Ratta, Kenya, and the world.  It hurts to know my eager students who are doing whatever they can to learn as much as they can will not have the opportunities so many of my students in the states that for granted.  That I took for granted. 

We have been posting a lot of the emotional rollercoaster this year has been.  Although I am still on that ride (alas!) I wanted to post something more tangible that we are doing and feeling fulfilled in doing. 

We also got our first package today! (Thank you Greg and April!!!)  Sending mail takes from 2-4 weeks but here is our address:

Ratta Mixed Secondary School
attn: Amy and Davis Wigger
P.O. Box 132
Kombewa, Kenya, 40102

Back to Ratta

 

Dearest friends and family,

        David and I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and wish everyone a very happy new year! We have spent the last month in Nairobi since our students are on their term break but we are heading back to Ratta on Wednesday.  We have had a rough month and both thought of going home but it is such a comfort to us that we know we are surrounded by your prayers.  We also appreciate your notes of love and support.  Please continue praying for us in the new year.  We miss you all! 

Love,

Amy and David

Happy Christmas!

Hope everyone had a very merry Christmas! We are thinking a lot about all of you these days. Thanks for your support and continued prayers.

Love,
Amy and David

Distracted and Embarrassed

We have now spend over two weeks in Ratta, Kenya. These two weeks have been a lot easier than the two weeks we had in Tanzania. We have a Swiss roommate who speaks English, others around us speak English as well, we have a job to do (instead of nothing to do), we have electricity (that goes out daily, but is usually there), we have running water (that we have to pump from one container to another, but is still there), we can listen to music, we can call home, and we can watch a movie when we are felling down or bored, we feel like we are doing something here, we are teaching, we are helping.

But something was better in Tanzania. Without anything to do, without anyone to talk to, we managed to get closer to God. Daily, Amy and I read the bible, our devotional that Rebekah gave us (thank you Rebekah), and prayed together. It was wonderful, I was really starting to see God in everything that I was doing. We decided that we needed to keep this up no matter where we were. We planned to keep it up when we got back to the states.
Today was the first day in Ratta that we managed to do all three things in one day again. Individually we were still reading the devotional, and from time to time we would pray together, but we hadn't read the bible out-loud since Tanzania.

Things are going better in Ratta. Life is easier in Ratta. But I was closer to God in Tanzania. I was starting to conclude that it was because I was miserable in Tanzania that I saw God, so I needed to make life miserable for me always, so that I could always see God. I hope that you are smarter than me, and see the flaw in this plan immediately. Sometimes it takes me longer to see the flaws in my own thinking.

Maybe it was easier for me to see God when I was lonely, bored, homesick, miserable; but that does not mean I have to be miserable to see God. That just cannot be right. So what is it. My new theory has two parts, with one conclusion. In Ratta I have more distractions (movies, phone, job, people to talk to, friends to get to know), and these distractions have made it easier to do other, more fun, things than sit down and try to be closer to God. The second part is a more serious problem. In Tanzania, Amy and I lived alone, with no one around. It was easy to be vulnerable through prayer and biblical readings with each other. Now we have a roommate, and it is harder to be unguarded, and total vulnerable to God with someone else watching. This too, is flawed. Andrea, our wonderfully nice and wonderfully friendly roommate, is also Christian, also vulnerable being so far from home, family, and a boyfriend. And yet I am still embarrassed to read the bible in front of her. I am still embarrassed to speak to God in front of her. I need to get over this. I need to learn how to be vulnerable in front of more people than just my wife and God. I need to learn how to live a honestly imperfect life. I need to learn how to give myself to God, even when it is a little embarrassing. I need to learn how to give myself to God, when others are watching, especially when others are watching.

So my new conclusion is not that I have to be miserable. It is simply that I have to make an effort. I need to make an effort to put to the side more amusing past-times. I need to make an effort to carve out a little time each day to be truly vulnerable and truly honest with myself, my wife, and God. And I need to make an effort to be Christian in front of others. I need to make an effort to not be afraid of how others see me all the time. I need to make an effort to be braver than I feel. So no I don't need to be miserable to have a relationship with God, I just might need to be a little brave, and a little uncomfortable from time to time.

Attack of the King Cobra!!!!

    My dad calls me "Amy the brave" and secretly I like to think it is true although I am scared of many things such as very long worms, Dr. Kim (my old principal), and large groups of ants.  But more than any other fear I am afraid of snakes.  Before I went to Kenya I did a quick google search and have myself a few nightmares from what I learned.  There are many snakes in Kenya, including the cobra.  The cobra, in particular freaks me out because its hood and its ability to raise its body. 
     One of the first conversations I had when I got to Kenya was how to aviod snakes.  My program director loving laughed at my snake fears and confidently told me that she would be very suprised if I would even see one (even though her mother-in-law died from a snake bite.)  Feeling a little better, I set out to Tanzania and then to Ratta, Kenya.  I was feeling great at this point, no snakes spotted in Tanzania, Phyllis was right, I was going to have no problems with snakes!  I could not have been more wrong.
     My FIRST encounter with snakes THIS WEEK was walking to the market with David.  As we left our compound and turned the first corner, David almost stepped on a Green Mamba snake.  Still, after closer inspection, (by David, I was sprinting away screaming) the snake was injured or dead (although it had disapeared later so I think it was just sleeping or pretending to sleep.)  My dad later sent a very cheerful text telling me that the mamba was nicknamed the "three step snake" because you took three steps before you died if you got bitten.  Lovely Pa, thanks a lot. Still, I can deal with half dead snakes that David almost steps on.
    Yesterday, I had gone for a run and had finished a small workout.  I was feeling really good about myself as I almost skipped off to my first class.  David and Andrea (our wonderful housemate) both had earlier classes and therefore were already gone.  So, alone, I set off to my first class.  I had just stepped past my gate when I felt, rather than saw, something raising to my right. I looked and there, two feet away, was a fully-grown king cobra raising up hissing and hood unfolded.  Well, there was Amy the brave staring at the snake and the king cobra staring back at Amy the brave.  Alas, Amy the brave could not move.  I think I took one step back in suprise, but as the snake rose higher and higher, I could not will my legs to move.  I realize that I am very lucky, many cobras in the area are spitting snakes and this snake at this point would have spit at me if it could.  As it was, the snake was trapped between me, and a stone wall to its back and therefore felt like it needed to attack in order to live.  Still, as I looked in absolute horror at this black, huge cobra that had risen to a height I though impossible, I could not move.  I was trapped in my worse nightmare!  Questions like WHY ME? ran through my head, the girl who had spent a year at this same location before me had never seen a snake but I had not only seen two in the first week but was about to be attacked by a huge king cobra! 
    I realized the snake, realizing apparently that I was not going to move, was going to strike, it was like watching a huge, black coil tensing.  I lept to the side just as the cobra stuck.  Luckily for me, I had a skirt that fell to my feet and close toed shoes.  The snake hit the side of my skirt and did not bite me.  I sprinted to the side screaming for help and the snake made a hasty escape also.  I am thankful that it did not turn around after it missed me to bite the back of my legs.  I did not make it to class that day.  I ran back inside my house.  Locked the door and all the windows for good measure.  My students tell me today that yes, there are many cobras in our area but usually they do not venture out on the road and stay back in the "bush."  I am left unscathed by the snake encounter but with a lifetime of nightmares.